The Five Schlensches
Those of you who read this blog regularly. might know that profound thoughts occur to me in the oddest places. One of them is the dentist chair. It is a spot where I am acutely aware of my surroundings - my senses are heightened. It may be because my adrenalin is rushing through my body, ready for the fight or flight syndrome. I will describe them in terms of the five senses for our purposes today. Or " The Five Schlenches" which is what I sounded like after three rounds of freezing.
Sight: My dentist`s office looks out (from half-way up the window because the bottom half is blocked out by etched glass) onto the freeway. I found this strangely calming. I allowed myself to be mesmerized by the off - ramps, the on-ramps, the small cars, the big cars, the semi-trucks. Mostly I just wished I was on that highway myself, rather than sitting in the chair waiting for my dentist to pronounce certain doom on my back molar. And then there is the T.V. I honestly wonder why they bother. With all the instruments interrupting the stream, who wants to watch? And besides, the only channels available are the news channels, which only served to raise my anxiety level with all their bad news stories.
Hearing: Muffled voices. The dentist tried to keep me informed of the process. It was kind of him, but this is what I heard: "Just a little mgjljd;gkjlgkjgjffff, Marni"; then "Mdfkjlsjflkjlmfff wider"; and "You might feel some mmmmfifksfdj" [I did]
I thought how his instruments and construction tools sounded very similar. And then I wondered how much wider I could ACTUALLY open my mouth. Any more and I`d have to have a winch attached to my lips. The songs on radio seemed to add to the cruel and unusual punishment. While he was putting freezing into my mouth, I heard "How Deep Is Your Love". It made me wonder how deep that needle was going. While he was drilling I heard Only the Good Die Young" Coincidence? I think not. Finally I tried to zone out and not listen at all.
Smell: The instruments he used brought back all sorts of olfactory memories of orthodontic work being done on me when I was a teenager. Plaster. Metal. Anesthetic. After shave.
Touch: One word: "GROSS". When it comes to wearing headphones to watch the TV they have to try and distract you...all I have to say is EWWWW, how many people have worn those headphones?! EWWWW. Again. I like my own germs, thank you. I don't want other people's.
Taste: Can I just say how much I love the challenge of trying to keep all that stuff that he was grinding from going down my throat? NOT.
I am sure there are other items I could add to this list. I may do that. I go back on Friday for another round. I can hardly wait.
Sight: My dentist`s office looks out (from half-way up the window because the bottom half is blocked out by etched glass) onto the freeway. I found this strangely calming. I allowed myself to be mesmerized by the off - ramps, the on-ramps, the small cars, the big cars, the semi-trucks. Mostly I just wished I was on that highway myself, rather than sitting in the chair waiting for my dentist to pronounce certain doom on my back molar. And then there is the T.V. I honestly wonder why they bother. With all the instruments interrupting the stream, who wants to watch? And besides, the only channels available are the news channels, which only served to raise my anxiety level with all their bad news stories.
Hearing: Muffled voices. The dentist tried to keep me informed of the process. It was kind of him, but this is what I heard: "Just a little mgjljd;gkjlgkjgjffff, Marni"; then "Mdfkjlsjflkjlmfff wider"; and "You might feel some mmmmfifksfdj" [I did]
I thought how his instruments and construction tools sounded very similar. And then I wondered how much wider I could ACTUALLY open my mouth. Any more and I`d have to have a winch attached to my lips. The songs on radio seemed to add to the cruel and unusual punishment. While he was putting freezing into my mouth, I heard "How Deep Is Your Love". It made me wonder how deep that needle was going. While he was drilling I heard Only the Good Die Young" Coincidence? I think not. Finally I tried to zone out and not listen at all.
Smell: The instruments he used brought back all sorts of olfactory memories of orthodontic work being done on me when I was a teenager. Plaster. Metal. Anesthetic. After shave.
Touch: One word: "GROSS". When it comes to wearing headphones to watch the TV they have to try and distract you...all I have to say is EWWWW, how many people have worn those headphones?! EWWWW. Again. I like my own germs, thank you. I don't want other people's.
Taste: Can I just say how much I love the challenge of trying to keep all that stuff that he was grinding from going down my throat? NOT.
I am sure there are other items I could add to this list. I may do that. I go back on Friday for another round. I can hardly wait.
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