One Word

The question of the day was "What One Word Describes Your Life Today?"  My response was immediate.

"FLUX".

For the first time, I am not able to anticipate the rhythm of family life.  One day, the boys are home. The next they are not.  My daughter is  adjusting to married life, and checks in occasionally, but not predictably.

My days have gone from keeping a"Mom's Calendar" -where I had to monitor everyone's schedules and keep track of which child I dropped off where and when- to hoping that the kids will lock up after they get home, because I have gone to bed long before they arrive home for the night.  Sometimes I don't catch sight of them for a few days.  I only know they have been home because there are dishes waiting to be stacked in the dishwasher.

It is a very weird and wonderful place to be in.  If I want to pick up and go, I can.  My husband and I do not have to plan ahead to go on dates.  We can just spontaneously ask each other if we feel like catching a movie, or go out for dinner (and we only have to pay for ourselves), or take a run up the road for a coffee date.  And then we can go.

My food bill has decreased.  My free time has increased.  The parameters which guided my decisions for so many years have disappeared.

And I am not quite sure what to make of it all.

F.L.U.X.


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