Father's Day
When Father's Day rolls around, I take the opportunity to design my groups around the theme. I find songs that highlight men, or we listen to music from famous men singers or composers. I read stories or poems about Dads. We discuss various topics that are theme-related. This year, the topic focused on "Dadisms" - things that Dads say a lot. What was interesting is that many of the 'Dadisms' were random - not so much wise advice, but comments on everyday life.
"Where are we going Daddy?"
"There and back to see how far it is."
"Were you born in a barn? Close the door!"
"That's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."
"What does that have to do with the price of tea in China."
"See you round like a donut."
"Just because the rat's in the cookie jar, doesn't make the rat a cookie."
What was even more poignant, is that for many of the members of my group, the memories they had of their dads were either that he was absent, or not present when he was with them.
My own experience was so different. My Dad was present with our family even when he was away.
I remember oftentimes when we had to wait in the car with Mom, while Daddy went and did some important errand (like at the bank, or an office), as soon as she would see him, she would say "Who is that handsome man coming towards us? I hope he will come to our car and take us away."
In the summers when my Dad was away, taking University courses we looked forward to his return. It was always a high point of the week when he would join us for the weekend. (and not just because he would empty his pockets of change and give it to us)
My Dad was (and still is) very off-hand in his "Dadisms". He would ask us "Did you fall in a coal bin?" if he though our smoky-eyed makeup was too dark. One time, my Mom told me to go find my Dad, to rescue her from a situation, I couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, I saw a closed bathroom door. "Dad, are you in there?" I asked. "I thought I was" was the response. Other times he would be repairing something and make comments like"I cut that board twice, and it is still too short". These are the Dadisms I remember.
I have been very fortunate to have a Dad who was present in my life, and then to find a husband who makes it a priority to be present in his family's life.
I have tried, as my Mom did, to build up the kid's Dad, even when he wasn't with us. "We'll have to ask Daddy when he gets home" was something I would often say. My husband is a man of many talents and skill-sets. He often had to put on the "rescue" cape when he walked in the door - fixing toys, putting things right that have fallen down, or coming to his wife's rescue by taking the kids and doing something fun with them, so she could take a break.
My husband made it a priority to be present in our kids' lives. He would change his schedule around to come to track meets and plays, and concerts. He always gives great thought towards actual gifts.
The 'Dadisms' my kids remember about him are mainly about how he changes the names of everything from movie stars, to items in the house. He told my #1 son at age 3, that these were called "chika bops",
because he didn't think my son would be able to comprehend "marrettes" and from then on, we have always called them "chicka bops". He often adds "hibity jibbity" to the end of sentences as emphasis. He changed the name of "Touched by and Angel", a t.v. program we used to watch as a family, to "Squished by a Dump Truck". I no longer remember why.
On this Father's Day, I am so grateful to look back and have the gift of a Dad who was present in my life, and a husband who is present in his family's life. Nothing could replace the heritage these men have given their families, and that is the greatest "Dadism" of all.
"Where are we going Daddy?"
"There and back to see how far it is."
"Were you born in a barn? Close the door!"
"That's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."
"What does that have to do with the price of tea in China."
"See you round like a donut."
"Just because the rat's in the cookie jar, doesn't make the rat a cookie."
What was even more poignant, is that for many of the members of my group, the memories they had of their dads were either that he was absent, or not present when he was with them.
My own experience was so different. My Dad was present with our family even when he was away.
I remember oftentimes when we had to wait in the car with Mom, while Daddy went and did some important errand (like at the bank, or an office), as soon as she would see him, she would say "Who is that handsome man coming towards us? I hope he will come to our car and take us away."
In the summers when my Dad was away, taking University courses we looked forward to his return. It was always a high point of the week when he would join us for the weekend. (and not just because he would empty his pockets of change and give it to us)
I have been very fortunate to have a Dad who was present in my life, and then to find a husband who makes it a priority to be present in his family's life.
I have tried, as my Mom did, to build up the kid's Dad, even when he wasn't with us. "We'll have to ask Daddy when he gets home" was something I would often say. My husband is a man of many talents and skill-sets. He often had to put on the "rescue" cape when he walked in the door - fixing toys, putting things right that have fallen down, or coming to his wife's rescue by taking the kids and doing something fun with them, so she could take a break.
My husband made it a priority to be present in our kids' lives. He would change his schedule around to come to track meets and plays, and concerts. He always gives great thought towards actual gifts.
The 'Dadisms' my kids remember about him are mainly about how he changes the names of everything from movie stars, to items in the house. He told my #1 son at age 3, that these were called "chika bops",
because he didn't think my son would be able to comprehend "marrettes" and from then on, we have always called them "chicka bops". He often adds "hibity jibbity" to the end of sentences as emphasis. He changed the name of "Touched by and Angel", a t.v. program we used to watch as a family, to "Squished by a Dump Truck". I no longer remember why.
On this Father's Day, I am so grateful to look back and have the gift of a Dad who was present in my life, and a husband who is present in his family's life. Nothing could replace the heritage these men have given their families, and that is the greatest "Dadism" of all.
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JC