I'm a Big Girl Now...

I was at a dinner a while ago, honouring one of my former bosses.  Her daughters both spoke about their mom and all the ways she had influenced them.  One of them talked about her mother's no-nonsense approach to life.  She said there were times when she was growing up that her mother would used the phrase "Now, go, put on your big-girl panties and do it" when her daughter was putting up a fuss about  not wanting to do something that was within her scope.  The phrase has stuck in my head ever since, because even though I am a "big girl", there are many times when I don't want to do something that I have to - and when it happens, "Put on your big-girl panties and do it" echoes in my head.

Some examples would be these:

• I had a kitchen cupboard guy coming to give me an estimate.  It happened to be 'the' day that every other trades person was dropping by so I figured one more couldn't hurt.  Just as I hung up the phone from making these arrangements, the other kitchen cupboard guy dropped in.   He wanted to take more measurements because we had changed our minds about the configuration of cupboards in the laundry area, and he thought that would change his quote.  AWKKKKWARD! I couldn't very well have both of them here.  But the other guy was on his way.  What to do, what to do?  "Put on your big-girl panties and call him".  I didn't want to do it, but I had to.  It all worked out in the end  - he generously said he could do some other errands and to let him know when the coast  was clear.  

• I was all alone the other morning, and had decided to vacuum.  I opened up the cupboard to a putrid smell.  After some investigation, I discovered the cat had deposited a dead bird under something in the cupboard.  It was disintegrating.  Usually, I call out  "HUUUNNNNN!" and my knight in shining armour comes to rescue me from such situations.  But it would be a long time before he got home.  And the smell was emanating through out the house.  These types of things make me nauseous.  I so wanted to leave it for my hero.  But then I thought "You got to put on your big-girl panties and dispose of that bird".  And I did.  (But not before texting my sister for moral support.)

• We have been looking for appliances.  It has taken a very long time.  I don't know why, but it just has.  First it meant narrowing down the make and style.  Then it required going to every appliance store known to (wo)man.  Then it required trying to find the best bang for our buck.  This is not an easy task.  Appliance-selling is a very competitive business.  They'll give you a 'bulk' price but no other written information about what they are selling you. Long story.  Shortened, it meant that I found a store with great customer service, but their price was significantly higher than another store.  I  knew I needed to call them and let them know that I liked their service but their prices were too rich for my blood.  Potential conflict is not my favourite.  I sat and looked at the phone for a long time.  Finally I thought "Put on your big-girl panties and phone the guy".  In the end I got a price match from the store I wanted to deal with, so it was all good.  

I suppose all of us have times when we have to do or say something we don't want to do.  For me, it usually has something to do with fearing the outcome.  "He already is on his way; and I will inconvenience him by asking him to come later. " "I am going to throw up if I deal with this dead bird."   " I will lose the deal if I call him and tell him I want a better price."

What I have begun to discover is that most of the outcomes I fear don't materialize.  Yes it takes screwing up my courage.  Yes it isn't easy.  But 9 times out of 10 it works out better than I could have hoped for.  And when I have done what I needed to do, I feel proud of myself - and a little more grown up.