Facing the Giants

Today, I faced the amalgam giants.  I went to the dentist.  It was a date I had avoided.  I thought I had put it off for a couple years, but it turns out it was closer to three.  I know, I know. Shoulda woulda coulda.  But the thought of little tiny machines whose audio frequencies make dogs around the dental office howl, and the sensation of periodontal scalers and curettes digging around in my mouth was enough to stop me from picking up the phone and making the appointment for almost 36 months.. 

During that time, I had been ignoring intermittent pain in my jaw.  I managed it, but it didn't go away, and I knew that one day, I would have to break down and reacquaint myself with novocaine and flouride treatments.  That day was today.

I was very nervous about it.  After I announced my arrival, I distracted myself by playing Word Mole on my phone while I waited. I tried not to imagine (somewhat unsuccessfully) how many times in the near future I would be sitting in the same place, alternating between Word Mole and watching the news on mute.  Based on my previous dental history, I thought it might be a few.  Other visits which  had anticipated as being unremarkable,  had turned into repeat summons to fix this and that problem.  I self-diagnosed and surmised that based on how long it had taken me to return for this routine visit, I was in for a reconnection of epic proportions with the masked man who is my dentist. 

He is very kind-hearted. He is very considerate and courteous.  But for some reason, whenever he sees me, he says some form of same thing.  "I know this isn't your favourite place to be".  It makes me wonder if there is some happy-face sticker on the upper right hand corner of my chart that alerts him to the trepidation I have about being in that chair.  How can he remember something like that after such a long absence. Maybe it was my face that gave it away.

Sure enough, he sat down, asked me how I was and then said "You don't really like coming here do you. "  I couldn't say anything.  I wanted to reassure him that it was nothing personal.  But I was struck dumb.  I smiled a small smile.  It said:  "Yes, Dr., much as I think you do a fabulous job, I would rather be on a warm beach somewhere, getting a manicure, than sitting in your chair, waiting for you to decipher those xrays and tell me that I am going to have to get a root canal."  Well, in the end, it wasn't as bad as I feared. The pain has been caused by a cavity adjacent to a tooth which has already had a lot of work done on it.  I will live to die another day. 

I left the dental office, feeling a little lighter.  And then, I had a lightbulb moment.  Many of the giants I try to avoid are best fought by facing them.  The news is not always as bad as I fear. The job is not always as big and I imagine.  The customer service rep is usually more helpful than I suppose them to be.  The house isn't as big a disaster as I thought.  I made a new resolve not to let myself be intimidated by the giants I must face.

I don't think they are as big as I let myself believe,