One is Silver, The Other Gold..

My daughter phoned me the other night to ask me for a few ideas on friendship.  She had to write a paper on it.  I started brainstorming ideas with her.   After several minutes, she said maybe I should write the paper for her.  We laughed about that, but since I have given a lot of thought to the topic of friendship over the years, I thought I'd write about it in this venue.

Friendship is something that fuels our lives - and if we are honest, sometimes drains us of that same energy.  When I was younger, I had one view on friends.  I divided people into two categories -' acquaintances' and 'forever friends'.  However, as I have had more life experience, I know that there are nuances to friendship which do not fit into the 'either/or' of those divisions.  Here are some that I have experienced.  You can add your own - I don't mind.


Sports Parents - Friendly people [if you are lucky enough to have your child on a supportive team]  who just chat about everything under the sun, while the kids are on the field or court, or ice.  They are the ones bundled up in warm coats and hats, holding hot drinks in one hand and an air horn in the other.  All season the conversation flows in between the hooting and hollering for the kids playing the game.  But when the season is done, you don't see them for the rest of the year.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles: People who hear your life story during a trip.  There's a certain comfort knowing that you will likely never see them again and so if you tell them that you have always felt uncomfortable with your husband's great aunt twice removed, there's no fear that it will come back to bite you.  Sometimes, you end up telling them your life story and get a word of wisdom that carries you through your life.  This happened to me when I was in college.  I was walking down the hill  crying because I had just been raked over the coals by one of my professors and a lady whom I'd never seen before (and haven't since) was coming the other way.  She stopped me to ask what was wrong.  I told her I had just had some very harsh feedback about my personal style and she listened kindly and then said (English accent) "Well take it for what it is worth and.......well, keep your chin up.." I never saw her again, but strangely, it helped me to muscle through a painful interlude.  I have often thought of how kind she was. 

High School or College Buddies - People with whom you shared experience around the school grounds. This can be a very intense time, since everyone is working toward getting through school and moving onto the next stage of life.  There are good times and bad; gossip and drama.  But when you are gone from that venue, you see each other in the mall and give each other a hug and find that you don't have a whole lot to talk about.

Oak Tree Friends -These are the people who knew you when you were a little sapling, grew with you,weathered the storms and are still standing - the friendship has deep roots that won't change with the passage of time, no matter what the circumstances you each find yourself in.  There are not many oak tree friends in life.  If you find one of two you can consider yourself very fortunate.

Work Buddies - These are people who work alongside of you.  They are team mates, who work together for a common cause and sometimes find things in common with you outside of the work place.  This has happened for me at my main job.  For example, the other night, we had a party for two of our team who had big birthdays.  It was so fun.  We laughed, we sang, we danced, we ate and shared a meal together.  And I expect that tomorrow, when we return to work together, we will relive some of the best parts of the evening all over again.  And then we will work side by side to help the people we serve at that workplace.

Family -   Now this category has the least choice.  You're just stuck with them.  You love them, fight with them, keep them near, hold them at arm's length - sometimes in the same day or moment, but if you are lucky (as I am), you will never find a more loyal group.  No one has as many in jokes as a family.  These are often repeated and everyone still laughs.  And also, if you are lucky, when push comes to shove, they will stand up for you, and beside you - in good times and in bad.