Other Related Duties

A few weeks ago, we passed another milestone. 
My #2 son graduated into the world of driving. 
This marks my last foray into the world of instructing my kids to become defenSiVe!!! drivers.
Although I have had a lot of experieince in this area, it never gets old. 
New drivers have a perfect mix of trepidation and impertinence.
They can cause an instantaneous rise in blood pressure
and inability to form a complete sentence in the person who is now relegated to the passenger's seat. 
                                            Being a driving instructor causes me to have a split personality. 
I alternate between being as calm as a boat in a windless sea, and frantic as a...
as a....
well,
as a mom locked in a minivan with a new driver.

I think "Oh, he's doing fine!" and then, "WE ARE GOING TO Die!"
My husband doesn't spend as much time with the new drivers as I do.
 This does not stop the new drivers from referring to their Dad's driving habits,
as in:  "Daddy doesn't ...." or "Daddy always....". 
I get a little impatient with this.    "Yeah, yeah, yeah, well the Daddy isn't in the vehicle right now, so the MOMMY trumps. Therefore, you will take your FOOT off the accelerator and keep to the speed limit!"

  With each successive new driver, I have aspired to do better - to figure out a succint, calm way to instruct.  I imagine myself saying:
"Accelerate slowly.... 
Watch that guy in front of you...
red light ahead...
slow down...foot on the brake.....
leave room between you and him....good."

Sadly, it often deteriorates to something like this:
"Accelerate slowly...
slowly,
SLOwlYYY!
WATCH,
 WATCH!!!
!!!!!   !!!!!!WATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRakESSSSSSS..
RDLHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRKK
BRkkKK
brKKKkkkkkkkKKKK!!!!",
all the while holding tightly to anything that looks more solid than I feel, and shoving my foot down into the floorboard for an illusion of control. 

The new drivers always enjoy this little show (NOT).  It makes them feel so much more confident when their mother is huddled on the far right of the vehicle in a ball of perspiration and abject fear. (NOT)

They generally mutter something like:
"Mom, you don't need to panic like that.  I saw him."

I know I seem unreasonable to them. 
They think I'm over reacting.
My only hope is that one day, they will understand what it was like for me
when they have new drivers of their own.

Still, it is an exciting prospect to know that after just 12 months of having my son drive me around, he will be able to take his Class 7 test and go solo and my job as a driving instructor will be complete.

Now please excuse me. 
I am going to sneak out and buy another box of hair colour to cover all the grey I've gotten from driving lessons. 

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