Ooops I've Done It Again

The other night, it happened again. I did something stupid, and am bruised and battered. I can show you this one.

But not the other four, because they are in impermissable places. They do have the most interesting shapes however, and have provided me with much entertainment as I have tried to find a comfortable way to sit, and lie down.


I am rather prone to injury. I should accept that by now. But it never occurs to me in the heat of the moment, that my actions will result in disaster. I just think "Hey, look at that! I can skate backwards!" or "I will just show the youth pastor how to wrap my hand around this rope swing and swing over this gulley.", or "Why don't we just jump off this moving hay wagon and see what happens", or "I'll just try and look really cool, as I slide down this bannister, while my school mates are watching."

This particular event happened when I was at a bridal shower. I don't want to go into details, because quite honestly, it was incredibly humiliating. I will say that there were 25 people who witnessed my graceful exit from the upright position. The room went quiet (after a lot of gasping) and then they quickly asked if I was o.k. I was too embarrassed to say how much it hurt. I knew the shower wasn't about me, so I brushed it off and took my seat again. All the while, a million thoughts were racing through my head. ""Good job I'm not in high school anymore...I would really be mortified.... If I don't draw any more attention to myself, everyone will forget about what happened." ...."Man, it hurts.".... "I'm glad that I'm not 80 years old, because that fall would have probably broken my hip"...."How soon would it be appropriate to go home?"


And of course, all of my many misadventures came back to haunt me. Scrapes, bruises, broken bones, stitches, falling, stepping on nails, standing underneath falling beams, being bitten by a dog, just to name a few. It's a wonder I've reached the age I have. And more's the pity, I had no bathtub to retreat to when I finally made it home. I did stand in the shower for a while, but that was a poor substitution for a good soak in the tub. I'll have to put my order in for my husband to install one in our ensuite. Given my poor track record with injury, it may not be very long before I will put it to use. She's a nice kid, but she's not too coordinated.