Password, Please

I'm not really sure why I need a new password when I open a new account or join a social network or get a new bank card. I mean, I do understand that a password is what keeps me 'safe' from fraudulent use. But, please, I am begging you! I am having such trouble remembering my passwords, and keeping them all straight! Couldn't I just please, pretty please, use the one that actually sticks in my brain?

When I was growing up, we used a simple lock to keep us safe. Or a key. I remember feeling anxious about the fact that I would have to remember the numbers for the lock in order to get into my locker. "How in the world would I be able to remember four numbers?" And how would I be able to dial them in every day in the right order?" By the third day of school, it was old hat, and I laughed off how silly I'd been to be so anxious.


But this password world is a whole new game. I can't use the same password twice. I have a lot of cards. And accounts. And places to check my messages. Not only do I have to remember numbers and letters in the right order, but I have to remember which password belongs to which account. And just when I get used to them, I get a message "Your password will expire in 14 days. Would you like to pick a new one now?" Now THAT'S stressful. Especially when there are people in line behind me, waiting to complete their business.

At first when I was told to pick a password I hadn't used before, I tried to be logical. I thought of an easy-to-use method. I picked them based on things that were important to me, or things that made me laugh, or something I glanced at when I was trying to decide what password to use. So my passwords were easy to remember. It was easy to retrieve 'husbandandkids', and 'pantsonbackwards' and 'cerealboxonthecounter'. The trouble was, the more places I went, the more passwords I needed. And the harder it was to keep coming up with easy-recall words.

Not only that, but the programs began giving me messages like "NOT A STRONG PASSWORD" and would prevent me from putting 'hatefiguringoutnewpasswords' in. Or I would be told I had too many letters, not enough numbers.

Really! What's wrong with 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz' as a password! I'm not good with numbers. Why should I let them be a part of my password?

Another fear I have is "What if I die? and my husband needs to drain access my account, or get online to tell my 315 friends that I have died? How will he know how to do that if I don't tell him what my passwords are? " The Password Police tell me in no uncertain terms, not to tell anyone, under ANY circumstances what my password is. But what about in the case of such dire circumstances? It totally stresses me out that he will not be able to figure it out. He has a hard enough time figuring out what I'm talking about in real-life conversation, let alone trying to read my mind when I am in the grave.

This whole password system is like jumping into a load of cement - I'm being buried in the very thing that was supposed to make my life easier. It's got so that when I want to find out my account balance, or check my messages, or get gas on my new card, I feel as if I am at the Russian Roulette table. I may or may not win. But the odds are stacked against me. It makes me so STRESSED! ...Wait... "Stressed" is "Dessert" backwards...If I used that, then I will have two passwords in one.....and then I can go and have some dessert to help me not feel so stressed. Good idea.

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