Fun and Games with Customer Service

At first glance, it seems very easy. I have a techno-problem. I will contact customer service. They will solve the problem. Onto the next crisis. Unfortunately, this is assuming too much. Apparently, there no such thing as customer service. Not any more.

I will bet you ten-to-one , that when a call is made about the telephone, hydro, credit card bill, and I actually talk to a person, not a machine, they are on the beach in Puerto Vallarta,
waiting for their para sailing turn.


If I send an email about a problem with techno-gadgets, I get a friendly message with an answer, which isn't an answer at all.

Real Customer Service Representatives (C.S.R's) no longer exist. I can no longer expect my problems to be solved. I have become fodder for jokes around the water cooler.

Let's just take the telephone as an example. All I wanted to know, was the possibility of getting a new phone number and keeping it over the next few months while we move around the city. Or, in other words (which I was forced to think of when it was clear that the C.S.R. didn't understand one word I had just said), we need a new phone number, but will we be able to take it with us to a temporary location, without having to apply for another one, once we are permanently located (the place we are going live in for a VERY long time...you know....our domicile....our future HOME.) By the time I realized the message wasn't getting through, I had been put on hold for a total of 15 minutes. Not a straight 15 minutes, but an intermittent 15 minutes. "Ma'am I'm just going to check on that for you; would you mind holding while I do that?".

I don't think he checked one thing. I think he put me on hold, so he could collapse into gales of laughter about making me say the same thing in yet another way. The phone call is recorded after all, and it is likely he replayed it for his buddies. Then they probably said something like "Pretend you don't understand. Tell her that you are in the Philippines, and need her to go over it once more. Oh wait! You are in the Philippines!"

HA Ha Ha. Very funny.

CLICK.


[me hanging up, and waiting until I can talk to someone, who is at least in the same country as I am.]

The other example, which is even more funny, is trying to access tech support when I realize I can't remember my password. After this experience, I highly recommend taking the time to write somewhere permanent - like on the file for the telephone company- what the answer is to your 'secret' question. Otherwise, you will be like a dog. Chasing your tail.

They say: "We will send your password to your email account (which I can't access, because I can't remember my password); but first, tell us what is the answer to your secret question? Here is the secret question:

"
What was the date of your last tetanus shot?"



I stare at the screen and try to remember why in the world I chose that particular secret question. Then I begin stabbing into thin air. "1979", "1999", "1949"....."I know it ends in 9. No, that's not right either. I better not try any more, or I'm going to be timed out. How hard can this be? " I begin rooting through my medical file, and find the receipt for the bag of nails I bought in 1982. But there's no indication of the year of my last tetanus shot.

Finally, I decide to write an email (from another account) to tech support and indicate my real problem isn't that I can't remember my password. I can't remember the answer to my secret question.

Then they send me the nicest letter saying "Hi, my name is Max [which I highly doubt, seeing as how the next letter came from "Arlene", who worded her letter exactly the same] , and I have been assigned to help you [I highly doubt that too]. You can try this website to find your answer: www.whatwereyouthinkingchoosingthatquestion.com, or you can click here".... ("here" is highlighted to fool me into thinking I am actually going to be successful) for more answers. "

So I click here, and a short two hours later, I realize I am not going to find what I am looking for, because none of the information here is related to my problem. I decide to look at the rest of Max's reply and see he mentions he needs the answer to my secret question, in order for him to be able to send me my password.

Like I said. A dog chasing it's tail. Round and round. Always thinking you're just about to win.

Fodder for the water cooler talk.


Ha Ha ha. I'm going to bed.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Laughed right out loud at this one! Thanks JC

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