Diary of a Garage Sale
Two months before:
Realize you have a lot of stuff. Decide that instead of boxing and bagging it up for the local charity group, you will collect it into a 'garage sale pile'. Do this off and on for two months, until you can hardly walk around the collection room without tripping over large bits of nothing.
One month before:
Announce to your friends you have picked a date. Change the date a few times because your son suggests waiting until he gets back from his summer work assignment.
One week before:
Remind yourself a million times to put the ad in the paper. Call the paper and inquire what the cost will be. Keep that number in mind, so all profits are calculated appropriately. Buy ad.
Begin the arduous task of taking all the stuff from the collection room up to another collection area, to be sorted and priced at a later date. Keep looking around the house to find more things you might as well put in - since you're doing this anyway.
Day before:
Ask husband for the gazillioneth time for his help the next day. Once you feel truly assured, go get a movie and watch it - because it's more fun to watch a movie, than worry about a garage sale.
Day of:
6:00 a.m. Get up early and make signs. Go around town with duct tape, and signs, and put them up. Reassure yourself that although they look small, true garage salers will know what to look for, and besides the ad is in the paper, so how bad could it be? Consider stopping by Timmy's but decide against it because you don't want to eat up the profits (so to speak)
7:42 a.m. Arrive home after putting up signs to find your husband has put out the first table, and arranged several items on it. The garage is tidy and swept out. The sporting goods are ready to be displayed, along with the tools, and the small dinghys. Get son out of bed. Get daughter out of bed. Begin dragging 'display' pieces of furniture out. Make signs to let people know there are matching pieces in the house - no use dragging it all out. Set out rest of the 'household items'. Find favorite belt in the bottom of the last box.
7:44 a.m. Rescue favorite watering tool from the garage sale pile. Husband obviously didn't know the value of it.
8:45 a.m. Greet early birds and chat with them as you finish setting up. Take 5$ for a vise.
8:59 a.m. .....
9:15 a.m. Begin wondering if those are the only visitors to your garage sale for the day.
9:55 a.m. Wander upstairs to blow dry hair.
10:15 a.m. Husband calls up the stairs : "Someone is here"... Go downstairs to find a favorite friend has come by with Timmy's enforcement. Visit with her for an hour, while two other people do a 'drive by'.
10:45 a.m. Help son sell science fair project [a windmill he never completed] to man who will likely take it home, and put it in his own collection room, where it will stay until he decides to put it in his own garage sale.
10:55 a.m. Watch son take out remote-controlled battle tanks. Help find the charger so he can play with them.
11:01 a.m. Son announces he is removing said battle tanks from the garage sale pile.
11:15 a.m. Say good-bye to friend, and then wonder what else to do to pass the time while no one shows up. Test drive the push-mower on the lawn for an hour or so. Realize that if this wasn't your own garage sale, you'd be interested in buying the push mower - it reminds you of the postage-stamp-sized lawn you mowed in your growing-up house.
12:30 p.m. Blister forms from pushing the mower. Return mower to garage sale pile, and go in and do dishes. Come out to collect 3$ from the guy who decides to buy a box of staples and a book on drawing cars.
1:00 p.m. Get out the "KABOOM" scrubbing cream and clean out the utility sink in the bathroom in the garage. Stand back and marvel at your work - the sink has never looked that clean.
1:30 p.m. Go down and admire the work your husband did in getting the watering system for the cows in place. Decide to have lunch.
2:00 p.m. Eat lunch while sitting on the soccer bench with husband, looking at the rest of the stuff. Realize that the sum total of all your work hasn't even paid for the ad you took out. Decide that next time you want to have a garage sale, you'll call the local charity instead.
Realize you have a lot of stuff. Decide that instead of boxing and bagging it up for the local charity group, you will collect it into a 'garage sale pile'. Do this off and on for two months, until you can hardly walk around the collection room without tripping over large bits of nothing.
One month before:
Announce to your friends you have picked a date. Change the date a few times because your son suggests waiting until he gets back from his summer work assignment.
One week before:
Remind yourself a million times to put the ad in the paper. Call the paper and inquire what the cost will be. Keep that number in mind, so all profits are calculated appropriately. Buy ad.
Begin the arduous task of taking all the stuff from the collection room up to another collection area, to be sorted and priced at a later date. Keep looking around the house to find more things you might as well put in - since you're doing this anyway.
Day before:
Ask husband for the gazillioneth time for his help the next day. Once you feel truly assured, go get a movie and watch it - because it's more fun to watch a movie, than worry about a garage sale.
Day of:
6:00 a.m. Get up early and make signs. Go around town with duct tape, and signs, and put them up. Reassure yourself that although they look small, true garage salers will know what to look for, and besides the ad is in the paper, so how bad could it be? Consider stopping by Timmy's but decide against it because you don't want to eat up the profits (so to speak)
7:42 a.m. Arrive home after putting up signs to find your husband has put out the first table, and arranged several items on it. The garage is tidy and swept out. The sporting goods are ready to be displayed, along with the tools, and the small dinghys. Get son out of bed. Get daughter out of bed. Begin dragging 'display' pieces of furniture out. Make signs to let people know there are matching pieces in the house - no use dragging it all out. Set out rest of the 'household items'. Find favorite belt in the bottom of the last box.
7:44 a.m. Rescue favorite watering tool from the garage sale pile. Husband obviously didn't know the value of it.
8:45 a.m. Greet early birds and chat with them as you finish setting up. Take 5$ for a vise.
8:59 a.m. .....
9:15 a.m. Begin wondering if those are the only visitors to your garage sale for the day.
9:55 a.m. Wander upstairs to blow dry hair.
10:15 a.m. Husband calls up the stairs : "Someone is here"... Go downstairs to find a favorite friend has come by with Timmy's enforcement. Visit with her for an hour, while two other people do a 'drive by'.
10:45 a.m. Help son sell science fair project [a windmill he never completed] to man who will likely take it home, and put it in his own collection room, where it will stay until he decides to put it in his own garage sale.
10:55 a.m. Watch son take out remote-controlled battle tanks. Help find the charger so he can play with them.
11:01 a.m. Son announces he is removing said battle tanks from the garage sale pile.
11:15 a.m. Say good-bye to friend, and then wonder what else to do to pass the time while no one shows up. Test drive the push-mower on the lawn for an hour or so. Realize that if this wasn't your own garage sale, you'd be interested in buying the push mower - it reminds you of the postage-stamp-sized lawn you mowed in your growing-up house.
12:30 p.m. Blister forms from pushing the mower. Return mower to garage sale pile, and go in and do dishes. Come out to collect 3$ from the guy who decides to buy a box of staples and a book on drawing cars.
1:00 p.m. Get out the "KABOOM" scrubbing cream and clean out the utility sink in the bathroom in the garage. Stand back and marvel at your work - the sink has never looked that clean.
1:30 p.m. Go down and admire the work your husband did in getting the watering system for the cows in place. Decide to have lunch.
2:00 p.m. Eat lunch while sitting on the soccer bench with husband, looking at the rest of the stuff. Realize that the sum total of all your work hasn't even paid for the ad you took out. Decide that next time you want to have a garage sale, you'll call the local charity instead.
Comments
The home stager suggested we give to the local charity. You know me, I wanted "one kick at the cat".
I
think
the
cat
kicked
me
instead
of
the
other
way
around
;-(