The week the mom leaves.

It is easy for the family to take mothers for granted. They forget how many things run smoothly with a mother to take care of them. I am a firm believer that having "mom time" helps the family to see how important this role is. Sometimes this requires a trip away without the family. I do this occasionally as a treat from myself to myself. I usually send myself a card first, so I am not too surprised by it all. "Dear Marni," I might scribe. "You deserve a break. Why not join me at (XYZ) for (insert # of days) for a little trip I am planning. Don't worry about a thing, I've got it all covered. Looking forward to it! See you there, Love, Marni"
Once I know I'm going somewhere, I have to make a lot of decisions.
The first decision - about food- isn't that hard to make. I've long since stopped worrying about what my family will eat while I am gone. I used to provide meals for my husband, when we were first married. I'd return and find them all in the back of the fridge, gathering mold. He'd simply gone home to his mom's to eat. Later, after we had little kids, he didn't have that option. Like the good wife that I am, I took the time to put the meals in the freezer with specific instructions taped on the lid- starting with: "REMOVE meal from freezer." Then: PUT in microwave for 10 minutes on DEFROST. PREHEAT OVEN to 350...." and on and on. Again, I returned home to find them still in the freezer. He had found his way to all the fast food restaurants. The circle was about to start again when I came back. So now when I go away, I just leave. I know they'll figure it out.
The second one - about keeping in contact while I'm gone- is also easy. Not only does my family hardly remember where I've gone, they don't usually answer the phone from a strange number, and so I don't bother to call. If for some reason I don't return, at some point, someone in the family will notice, and ask "Where is Mom anyways?"
Then they will go upstairs and look under the bed. When they don't find me there, they'll head to the bathroom, and find my toothbrush and makeup gone. That's when somewhere in the dark recesses of their minds, they'll remember me saying I was going away for a while. Then they'll go back downstairs to eat the rest of the pizza/burgers/Chinese food.

I hardly ever leave home for an extended period. I like to stay away just long enough to make sure they know I'm gone. Long enough for them to have to break down and do their own laundry, collect their own garbage, and find their way through the maze of school work which was due last week [but just turned up in their backpack today].

Sometimes my time away starts with an airplane ride. My family will usually come to see me off. On the way to the airport, I sense the anticipation building. The vibes are palpable. "Mom's going to be gone for a while. PARTY at OUR house!". My husband is the worst offender. He nods politely, without really listening, when I begin enumerating the the long list of tasks he and the children need to remember. I ask him to water my plants. "Oh and don't forget to pay the hydro bill. It's due on Monday...... And while I'm thinking of it, the teacher called and asked us to provide the snack for "Great Badge Day"..... That's Thursday.... It's going to be hot, so if you're outside, please put sunscreen on..." Somewhere near the end of the list, I realize that no one is really listening to me. I have become like the teacher on the Charlie Brown show "Mwa wah wah. Mwa wah wah. Mwa wah wah. " So I chide everyone and say "Don't have too good a time without me". And the whole family looks at each other knowingly, trying in vain to hide their grins. My #1 son goes so far to say "Cancel the plans! Cancel the plans!". Yeah right.
The minute they drop me off, I know exactly what happens, . The sunroof opens. The music is cranked. The pizza is ordered. The videos are watched. The party begins. That is until, the first day they have to be on routine. Then they miss me. Oh yes they miss me.
My husband wonders why the hydro has been turned off - and then has to make arrangements to pay the bill so that it will be re-instated. My daughter tries to find a bowl for Alphaghettis, and discovers that there are no clean dishes to be found. Even the paper ones are used up.
My #1 son calls my husband to let him know that he doesn't have to pick him up until 4 p.m. My husband has forgotten that he is on tap for this at all, and replies "What are you talking about? It's not my day to pick you up". My #2 son asks for money to buy a treat, only to have to scrounge behind the couch to see if there's any extra pennies around because my husband never carries cash in his wallet.
Much as I enjoy my time away, I have to admit the best part is coming home, and having the family tell me they missed me. They are good at this part. If I am away long enough, I can count on them to say it - and with feeling. The longest I was away was for three weeks when my mom was sick. The day I returned, I came into the room where my #1 son was. When he saw me, he ran to me and wrapped his arms around me and said "Never do that again mom". And I haven't.