Buyer Beware

From time to time, I browse through second hand stores. I am always hoping to find treasures. Maybe I'll find some clothing which won't cost me an arm an a leg, but will make me look like a million bucks. [I realize this is a tall order, but "hope springs eternal". ]

Or for a couple of bucks worth of fun, I'll look for cool tools, CD's, replacement containers, or a bit of stationery that I can use to write my quick notes in my role as "Executive Mom". [These notes are written in haste before the child exits the vehicle, when you find out at the last minute, that there's no possible way that he can skip phys ed today because they are rock climbing and if he misses it, Mr. Diddleydoo threatened to drop his mark so far down, that the rocks would cry out. So you pull out the pretty stationery (that you bought at the second hand store) from the glove compartment, and write a sweet but insistent little note to the teacher. "Dear Mr Diddleydoo: Please excuse my son from Phys Ed today, as he suffered a concussion in the last class, when he landed on his head instead of his feet. Sincerely, My Son's Mom "....But I digress...)

I admit, that when it comes to trying on clothes in these stores, I have to mentally screw up my courage. First of all, the experience of exposing myself trying on any kind of clothing requires me to have a little pep talk with myself. I pump myself up by imagining how great I will feel when I pay so little for something that makes me look so good. Once I've talked myself into it, I flip through the racks. At this stage of the game, I can usually find enough items to fill my cart. And my adrelin kicks in and I begin get energized by this retail experience.

I think to myself "Oh, that's a cute top. It would go great with my dress pants." And a little farther down the rack, "Oh, there's another one! What an interesting pattern!" I go through a few more items and think "Hey! I love the detail on this blouse!" and "Look at the label on this skirt! They obviously didn't know it was an authentic ________! For that price I can afford to try it on! "

I pile the clothes into the cart, mentally sashaying into work, wearing the cute little top/ designer label skirt/pretty patterned shirt/intricately detailed blouse. In my imagination, I nonchalantly field admiring comments like: "I love your blouse!". "Thank you," I reply with an inward smile. "It makes me feel happy!"

While filling up my cart with potential wardrobe suppliments fills me with delightful adrenalin, trying them on clothes is another story. Suddenly, I realize I've signed on to a clothes lottery. The odds of liking what I have brought into the dressing room are basically just a pipe dream. That cute little top? There's something desperately wrong with it. "Hmm" I muse, I didn't think that pocket would sit like that" or "The pattern on this shirt is great. Now, if only I could fit it over my head". And so it goes with the other items until there's one word resounding in my head. "Nope". Again "Nope". And another "Nope, not this one either". By this time, my self esteem has dropped lower than the value on the half-priced green tagged items. I begin to question why I didn't stick to the periphery of the store and pick up that stationery, instead of spending 1 1/2 hours browsing through clothing items, which have thrown me into the pit of despair.

To redeem the shopping trip, I try to find at least one thing to bring home. It would be a pity to have the last memory of my time in the second hand store be a bad one. The last time I clothes-shopped, I was successful in bringing home just one item of the 20 items I tried on. Know what it was? Shoes. At least they fit. And they had a cute pattern, and went with my dress pants. When my co-worked complimented me on them, I said "Thank you! They make me feel happy!" I may stick to that aisle from now on!