You Want What??? #1

My aunt had an oil painting in her living room. The scene was reminiscent of the era in which Scarlett O'Hara lived. In the painting, was a living (great?) room with a grand piano . Two young ladies -one playing the piano, and the other looking down from the balcony also graced the picture. There was a winding staircase, and at the top of the staircase there were doors to rooms. I spent hours looking at it, wondering about the stories that house held. Were the ladies in the picture sisters? What was behind those doors upstairs?


Pictures contain stories. They are frozen in time, and the viewer must use visual clues to find the tale. I have told you all this, to say that for Mother's Day, I asked for a family portrait to be taken. There will be no winding staircase in this photo, but I guarantee you, there will be a story behind the photo(s).


Even without the photographer showing up, getting our family picture has a history. We have not had a professionally photographed family picture since my #2 son was in Grade 3. Which would be fine, if he were now in Grade 5 [or possibly stretch it to Grade 6]. But he is entering Grade 9 in the fall. So despite my husband's protests, and my children's groans, I have booked a date. "No Hon, you're not busy that day, I checked your calendar. Yes Children, WE WILL BE HAVING our pictures done! And we will enjoy it. And we will look at them and ooh and ahh. Understoood? At ease! "

My husband should have known from the beginning how important getting family photos is to me. He should recall the day I dragged him out to get an engagement photo done. In those days, I didn't know the value of coordinated dressing. He was wearing an argyle-patterned sweater and I was wearing a navy and white striped shirt. Still it captured us at a very important part of our life together. The part where we didn't know what we were in for. Since there was no spinach in our teeth, I thought they were just fine and We I inflicted those pictures on as many people as we I could. The only one I couldn't get rid of was the 11 X 13. Not even I wanted a picture that large of such desynchronization.

Our wedding photos were very expensive. We spent more on them, than anything else in the wedding including my dress. The photographer convinced us that "photos were what remained of the wedding day." He said "You can't keep the food. The flowers will fade. But the photos will last forever". He was right about that. We still have the album of wedding photos. But the photographer was wrong about the interpreted value of them. Me? I loved my wedding photos. I would take out the album a few times a week when we were newly married. As far as my husband was concerned, we should have spent more money on the food. He managed to look at them once after they arrived and I don't think he's looked at them again. For him, it was an expensive glance into our new beginnings.

When the kids were younger, I tried to have a family photo at least every two years. By family photo I mean, where we went as a family to someplace that had a fake background and smiled pretty for the camera. [For the record, we also have had plenty of some family photos where we were schlepping around and happened to be in the same place at the same time.]

There was always plenty of drama when I would plan to take us to the 'studio'. I usually gave away the plan by laying out clothes for everyone. They had to be complimentary clothes. No more argyle and striped patterns trying to make it together in the same picture.

I started with the kids, since they didn't have much choice, but to go along. Occasionally, I would even iron their clothes. I made sure that my daughter's hair was out of her eyes and curled pretty. that my #1 son had to taken off that ratty old t-shirt, and my #2 son didn't leave his gum boots on. I insisted no food be served for the time being, especially of the chocolate ice cream variety. I certainly didn't want any stains showing on a permanent record of family life. However, they could watch as many videos as they wanted until I could get them safely into the vehicle. Glazed eyes in photos were not as obvious as chocolate stains.

By and by, my husband would come home, and wonder where the kids were. When he saw them glazed in front of the tv, he would wander into the bedroom and see me with hot rollers in my hair. Then the jig was up. "I thought you said we were going to have a date night" my husband would say, and I would nod distractedly, while mentally placing each of us in the picture in a coordinated way. "This is no date night", he would figure out loud "This is FAMILY PICTURES".