Dirty Little Secret
I have a confession to make. I have a really hard time throwing out live things. Or maybe I should say, I have a hard time throwing out things that were ONCE alive. If this confession was case study "A" for a life coaching class, I imagine the following conversation:
Teacher:
"All right class, let's analyze Case Study "A". This woman has lead a typical life. She has a great husband and three wonderful children. On the outside, her life looks great. However, she hates to throw out anything that has been living. This has led to hurtful comments by family members about the state of the fridge or the flowers that are dying on the front table. She is embarrassed about this and would like some help in finding out the root of this problem. Ok. so, let's think of the possibilities class. Yes, you in the back row wearing black."
Student in black:
"I think it's because she can't let go of the past It's obvious that she has some real issues around holding onto things that will never be a part of her life again. She is in the denial state of the grief process and hasn't moved through to the acceptance stage where she realizes that the food in the back of the fridge is dead and will never be alive again."
Teacher: "Mm...that's a possibility, any other answers?.....Girl in supermodel clothes?"
Student who looks like Super Rich Barbie:
"It could be because she has gone through hard times and throwing things out represents snubbing her nose at the provisions she's been given but hasn't used. Obviously, there's some real pain around the fact that she's had times when she didn't know what she was going to put on the table and throwing anything out is distressing to her."
Teacher: "Could be...anyone else? Yes Miss Psychotherapy Major?"
Student with glasses, starched white shirt, black pants and pearl necklace:
"I think it's because sub-consciously, she's waiting for her mother to come and take care of things for her. She does not have a highly developed sense of maturity. Inside she is still a little girl wanting to be cared for by an adult role model. She hasn't yet taken full responsibility for the fact that she is a grown woman and her mother won't be coming by any time soon to clean up her mess."
Teacher: "I think we're getting there...." then to the young lady who is slouching in the front row, chewing gum, listening to her IPOD "Young lady in the front row..I don't believe you are paying attention...why don't you sit up and tell us what you think about Case Study 'A' ?"
After a long silence...where the whole class sits on pins and needles because this gal hasn't said anything all term...
Student who looks bored pops her gum and hits the nail on the head:
"I think she's just being a slacker."
Teacher:
"All right class, let's analyze Case Study "A". This woman has lead a typical life. She has a great husband and three wonderful children. On the outside, her life looks great. However, she hates to throw out anything that has been living. This has led to hurtful comments by family members about the state of the fridge or the flowers that are dying on the front table. She is embarrassed about this and would like some help in finding out the root of this problem. Ok. so, let's think of the possibilities class. Yes, you in the back row wearing black."
Student in black:
"I think it's because she can't let go of the past It's obvious that she has some real issues around holding onto things that will never be a part of her life again. She is in the denial state of the grief process and hasn't moved through to the acceptance stage where she realizes that the food in the back of the fridge is dead and will never be alive again."
Teacher: "Mm...that's a possibility, any other answers?.....Girl in supermodel clothes?"
Student who looks like Super Rich Barbie:
"It could be because she has gone through hard times and throwing things out represents snubbing her nose at the provisions she's been given but hasn't used. Obviously, there's some real pain around the fact that she's had times when she didn't know what she was going to put on the table and throwing anything out is distressing to her."
Teacher: "Could be...anyone else? Yes Miss Psychotherapy Major?"
Student with glasses, starched white shirt, black pants and pearl necklace:
"I think it's because sub-consciously, she's waiting for her mother to come and take care of things for her. She does not have a highly developed sense of maturity. Inside she is still a little girl wanting to be cared for by an adult role model. She hasn't yet taken full responsibility for the fact that she is a grown woman and her mother won't be coming by any time soon to clean up her mess."
Teacher: "I think we're getting there...." then to the young lady who is slouching in the front row, chewing gum, listening to her IPOD "Young lady in the front row..I don't believe you are paying attention...why don't you sit up and tell us what you think about Case Study 'A' ?"
After a long silence...where the whole class sits on pins and needles because this gal hasn't said anything all term...
Student who looks bored pops her gum and hits the nail on the head:
"I think she's just being a slacker."
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