It's an Illusion
You know the commercial for the Air Freshener that sings "Plug it in, Plug it in"? Well I have a new version of this song. It's called "Shove it in, Shove it in". I am referring to the times in life when you are busy and you can account for every minute of every day and still there seems to be the creeping piles of paperwork, stacks of dishes waiting to be dealt with, laundry piling up and the like.
If you get to feeling overwhelmed (and this dear cyber reader is very easy to do), simply sing this song as you go around the house finding large boxes, stoves and various sized laundry receptacles to hide the evidence. Try it with me everyone "Shove it in, Shove it in" . There now, don't you feel better? I have in fact tried these techniques and am here to tell you that they work excellently. Let's imagine for a moment that you have been busy for days on a project that is taking all your spare time and energy. Now, I know that really, you can never have such a project, for if you are like me, you will find yourself suddenly jumping up from said project, to go and check the cupboard for a spare piece of Toblerone you might have left there at Christmas. Or the phone may ring and you have to tell that pesky telemarketer one more time that the lady of the house is not there. (a little pet peeve when they cannot pronounce my name correctly). Or perhaps a stray game of online Scrabble catches your attention and you need to submit your word, or risk being put on the 'inactive' list.
But let's just say for the sake of the arguement that you have been spending ALL your time on this particular project and then you remember that you are supposed to have company tonight. TONIGHT? Why that's in 23 minutes.
There's not possibly time to vacuum, dust, put away the dishes, get rid of all the paperwork, clean the toilet and shine the mirror. Not to mention the fact that you haven't put on any makeup for several days and your hair looks a little like the scientist on "Back to the Future".
At this point, a girl has to prioritize and do it fast.
Let's just say that you decide to clean up the house in 23 minutes. What are the advantages of that when the guests come to the door and leave because the person who is greeting them at the door thinks it's Hallowe'en and they don't feel like trick or treating?
No, no, dear cyber reader, clearly the only choice you must make is to be presentable for your guests and to make them think that you have been preparing for this moment all day. Therefore, it is incumbent on you to take a bath (6.9 minutes )and curl your hair (9.6 minutes) and extrapolate your mascara from the dark recesses of your drawer (4.325 minutes)
Of course, this leaves you with a dillema. Time is going to be very short (you do the math)
What should you do with all the stuff that needs to be dealt with when their arrival is imminent? That's when this song comes in handy. After you have done your make up and your teeth are freshly brushed, whisk around the house singing "Shove it in, shove it in" and find the largest boxes and cupboards (being careful to choose ones that won't be identifiable as stuff stackers) and put all the offending things in them. Singing this song will reduce the stress and make the job FUN! And if perchance they should arrive early, they will feel cheered by the music that is going on and will assume that you are humming a happy tune in celebration of their arrival.
I also advocate spraying some sort of cinamonny scent around to make the guests believe that you not only look great, and are organized, but you also have slaved over the hot stove all day to make them some great dessert...apple cinnamon strudel perhaps?....no no, it must be apple pie...or apple crisp?.... This way, you fake them out and the oven can hold all the pots and pans that are sporting last weeks pasta sauce and your guests will be none the wiser. Afterall, what they don't know, don't hurt them. (unless you leave out a box and they trip over it)
If you get to feeling overwhelmed (and this dear cyber reader is very easy to do), simply sing this song as you go around the house finding large boxes, stoves and various sized laundry receptacles to hide the evidence. Try it with me everyone "Shove it in, Shove it in" . There now, don't you feel better? I have in fact tried these techniques and am here to tell you that they work excellently. Let's imagine for a moment that you have been busy for days on a project that is taking all your spare time and energy. Now, I know that really, you can never have such a project, for if you are like me, you will find yourself suddenly jumping up from said project, to go and check the cupboard for a spare piece of Toblerone you might have left there at Christmas. Or the phone may ring and you have to tell that pesky telemarketer one more time that the lady of the house is not there. (a little pet peeve when they cannot pronounce my name correctly). Or perhaps a stray game of online Scrabble catches your attention and you need to submit your word, or risk being put on the 'inactive' list.
But let's just say for the sake of the arguement that you have been spending ALL your time on this particular project and then you remember that you are supposed to have company tonight. TONIGHT? Why that's in 23 minutes.
There's not possibly time to vacuum, dust, put away the dishes, get rid of all the paperwork, clean the toilet and shine the mirror. Not to mention the fact that you haven't put on any makeup for several days and your hair looks a little like the scientist on "Back to the Future".
At this point, a girl has to prioritize and do it fast.
Let's just say that you decide to clean up the house in 23 minutes. What are the advantages of that when the guests come to the door and leave because the person who is greeting them at the door thinks it's Hallowe'en and they don't feel like trick or treating?
No, no, dear cyber reader, clearly the only choice you must make is to be presentable for your guests and to make them think that you have been preparing for this moment all day. Therefore, it is incumbent on you to take a bath (6.9 minutes )and curl your hair (9.6 minutes) and extrapolate your mascara from the dark recesses of your drawer (4.325 minutes)
Of course, this leaves you with a dillema. Time is going to be very short (you do the math)
What should you do with all the stuff that needs to be dealt with when their arrival is imminent? That's when this song comes in handy. After you have done your make up and your teeth are freshly brushed, whisk around the house singing "Shove it in, shove it in" and find the largest boxes and cupboards (being careful to choose ones that won't be identifiable as stuff stackers) and put all the offending things in them. Singing this song will reduce the stress and make the job FUN! And if perchance they should arrive early, they will feel cheered by the music that is going on and will assume that you are humming a happy tune in celebration of their arrival.
I also advocate spraying some sort of cinamonny scent around to make the guests believe that you not only look great, and are organized, but you also have slaved over the hot stove all day to make them some great dessert...apple cinnamon strudel perhaps?....no no, it must be apple pie...or apple crisp?.... This way, you fake them out and the oven can hold all the pots and pans that are sporting last weeks pasta sauce and your guests will be none the wiser. Afterall, what they don't know, don't hurt them. (unless you leave out a box and they trip over it)
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