Fund Raising Rant

I know it comes with the territory, but why is it that the KIDS get to go on the trip, and the MOM is left with the paperwork to flog the latest fund raiser to the few family and friends that are left?

We are all chocolated out!!!! Please, no more wrapping paper!!!! And I don't have anything worth donating for a silent auction....[now, there's a question that always leaves room for pause. "What exactly do I have that would even be considered good enough to donate? No...not that....I could...no I guess not....what about .......??....hmmm...nope...nothing unless they want my latest whack of toilet paper from Costco..... "]

Fundraiser chairpersons spout off words like "teach the kids responsibility"; it is all about "building community". We're working for a common cause....Cause schmause....Community schmunity.

I'll tell you how that plays out. "Here Mom, I gotta sell chocolates, can you take this to work and get all those people there to pitch in?" If you're lucky, they might make one or two phone calls to unsuspecting grandparents, and then they forget to give them the forms, so you end up making a special trip out of town...[because that's where all the smart relatives live..out of town and out of reach...] just to deliver them yourself. Or you spend all sorts of your own time phoning the theaters to try and buy popcorn to sell at the video night and then have to clean it all up after the video where the kids [yours] who bought tickets [with money that you gave them] threw popcorn at each other.

The clincher is always the fundraiser where you have a whole box of edible items to sell. You end up selling all but two to yourself because you start a taste test on a day when depression is especially prevalent in your personal life. "What ...I have to cough up 80$? I should have booked a counselling session instead".

And just by the way for any chairperson who might be reading this rant....I don't have any corporate connections, so don't go there girlfriend. In my briefcase are an odd assortment of receipts, wadded up kleenex and the occasional cough candy...and perhaps, if I am really organized, my ten year old Day Timer. There's no Rolodex, or Blackberry, so don't be thinking that you are going to hit me up with getting a gift basket donation from XYZ Inc. It ain't gonna happen.

Fundraisers are guilt raisers. I always feel bad, at the 'brainstorming' meeting when they say...."Who would like to volunteer to head the [Chocolate Sale....Silent Auction......Fun Fair......Ticket Sales......Meat Sale....Video Night] ...." Are you kidding? I can't count at the best of times. - I always think I have more in the bank account than the ATM machine indicates.- Talk about stress....counting any kind of order rates up there with a major move as far as that stress scale is concerned.

I am sure there is a better name for Fund Raising....perhaps Root Canal?......Spend- your- own bucks -because -you- can't- stand -asking- other -people- to -spend -theirs? ....Exercises in futility????...Stress- and -Guilt -Inducing- Method-Of- Weight- Gain -Caused-From -Eating -All -The -Cookies -You- Were -Supposed -To -Sell?....

Whenever I go to these meetings, I ask myself the all important question....Why do I even show up for this? I guess I am a sucker for feeling like "This is my kids' educational experience and I should try and be involved in helping out in whatever way I can." [I also want to know if anyone is talking about me....]

I'm thinking that if all your kid's trip account is only going to be credited an extra 30$ OFF the trip, doesn't it make more sense to stay in your jammies and cough up the extra dough when the the deadline for the trip happens????????

...As I said in the title...this is a rant. Go onto the next post if you can't handle this one. As for me, I am getting in my jammies and I am not answering any phone calls or emails for the next several days. I'll get my cheque book out in a month or so.