Gingerbread Houses
Here's my step-by-step guide to "Not-so-stressed" Gingerbread houses.
Step One: Decide to create a Christmas memory.
Step Two: Estimate the amount of time it would take to make a gingerbread house from scratch. Quickly opt for a store bought option because you are bad at math and counting all those pieces to make sure you have enough of them is just too much for your little brain to bear.
Step Three: Pick up store bought gingerbread house and a few extra candies just in case you need them. Pick out the ones that you really like and hold them back until the end. [which being interpreted is "hide the really good ones because you know they're not going to last"]
Step Four: Look at instructions. Rejoice because the icing is already made and in a bag so you just have to clip the end off. Congratulate yourself for spending a little more on this model so that you don't have the hassle of mixing up the icing and hoping it will be thick enough. Throw out small pieces that broke off when you opened the package. No one will know they are missing.
Step Five: Begin assembly of house. Fend kids off from the event a little longer by promising them that you will call them when the house is ready to be decorated. (make a cuppa tea and consume during the 15 minute hardening time)
Step Six: Call children.
Step Three: Pick up store bought gingerbread house and a few extra candies just in case you need them. Pick out the ones that you really like and hold them back until the end. [which being interpreted is "hide the really good ones because you know they're not going to last"]
Step Four: Look at instructions. Rejoice because the icing is already made and in a bag so you just have to clip the end off. Congratulate yourself for spending a little more on this model so that you don't have the hassle of mixing up the icing and hoping it will be thick enough. Throw out small pieces that broke off when you opened the package. No one will know they are missing.
Step Five: Begin assembly of house. Fend kids off from the event a little longer by promising them that you will call them when the house is ready to be decorated. (make a cuppa tea and consume during the 15 minute hardening time)
Step Six: Call children.
Step Seven: Set them to work and wander away upstairs to read a magazine when you realize they will never listen to you telling them to limit the amount of candy that they are consuming. They are much too excited. Let them decorate to their heart's content. Ignore the extreme sounds coming at you from downstairs. What you don't know, don't hurt you. Come down and clean up the mess that they have left after decorating , and have disappeared to watch the Christmas special on TV.
Step Eight: Display gingerbread house in conspicuous spot. Throw out remains in a couple of days because they just can't wait to eat the candies off of it and it is much too much trouble to play security guard on something that really won't matter in ten years. Or even next year.
Step Nine: Sing your Christmas anthem "Let it Go, Let it Go, Let it Go". They are happy. So are you.
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