Parent/Teacher Conferences

High School Parent /Teacher Conferences. It's kind of thing a parent lies awake at night worrying about. What are the chances that you could look up another kid's name and talk to the teachers about that one instead of yours? Oh, man, now they are going to put a face to those emails and phonecalls you occasionally use to contact them. And on and on. The voices in the head keep talking. Using nasty words like the "R" words. (Responsibility, Reasonable limits, .....) and the "P" word (Punctuality) or the "H" word (Homework...oh yes, they are going to nail you on that one...why aren't you aware of what homework should be done and handed in?) It's enough to strike fear into the most confident parent. Even the ones who have read all the manuals and have attended all "Parenting with Excellence" seminars.

The actual process is just bizarre. It's like going to a Boxing Day sale. Line ups, line ups, line ups. Hurry up and move along lady, everyone else is waiting. Some parents camp outside for days on end just to get the prime spot. I think I have even seen some RV's on the parking lot just for that purpose. (this may be a slight exaggeration). I tend to hedge my bets and hope for the best. Show up and wander around like a deer in the headlights, trying to avoid eye contact with all the other middle aged parents, (Why are there so many middle aged parents of high school kids?) looking for the teachers of your kids. Most of them you only know by name and your childs' impressions. No one looks like the descriptions you have been given.

You are forced to wait in the largest room in the school along with all the other uptight parents. You wonder if they think you are just a keener. Or that attendance at this event is just another instance of micr-managing your kids. Or perhaps, they don't like your hair style. Did you remember to take the spinach out of your teeth? (It's amazing how entering a high school immediately brings up the old high school patterns of thinking). Then, you worry about not having a big enough gift to hand over as a little "just between you and me" bribe.

Some teachers have a bazillion (and this is no exaggeration) parents waiting to talk to them. Some are playing solitaire or trying to look studious as they read the manual for their dryer. Others aren't even there. Lucky them. Probably home in their jammies blogging about P/T conferences.

There you wait. You consider the possibility of talking to the solitaire teacher about your little angel even though they don't know who your little angel is, or checking in with the manual reader, just in case they have the same type of dryer you do. At least it would make you more efficient with your time.

You sit there and watch other parents who are lucky enough to be able to get in when they wanted (the ones who had the RV in the parking lot) talk to the teachers about their kids (and you wonder to yourself why they have even show up. ...their kid's already been nominated for the Governor General's award. Yeah yeah yeah...move along. ) The minute they look as if they are wrapping up (signalled by the teacher shutting the marks book, or the mom reaching for her purse, or the dad [if they are actually there] looking around for his golfing parent buddy) you stand up, ready to dash over and beat the other parents to the desk. On your mark, get set....go!!!! GO! GO!I have literally observed a mini- stampede to the desk. At this point, you stay away from consiliatory comments like "Oh, were you here first? No no, after you!!!" No ma'am. get the goods, give the goods, and get out.

Admittedly, you could be facing an an awkward conversation. (referring to the "R","P", and "H" words) How will you explain to the teacher that sometimes, you just don't ask your kids about all that stuff, because you wanted to relax in the evening? That you want to enjoy some family time rather than being a slave to the system. They probably think you are a slacker parent. If you really had it together, you wouldn't even have to show up for a Parent Teacher conference, you would just know ALL this stuff about your kid already.
You sit down, bracing yourself for the onslaught. Like the lightening of the sky when morning comes, the realization slowly comes to you that in front of you is a person who genuinely cares about your kid. They know your kid on a different, yet shared level. Behind the desk is

not only a fine teacher, but a really great person. They actually enjoy having your kid in class. They think your kid may be on their way to becoming nominated for the Governor General's award. Hey, this isn't so bad after all! Next year, I am not going to be so intimidated!